BROWNTHATBANANA

Incoming Weiners! Bay to Breakers 2012!

Bay to Breakers is a wacky race in San Francisco, where drunk college kids piss all over the place and old men walk around naked. Unfortunatly, this year I got there a little late, so I was unable to take as many pictures of old men's butts as I usually do. But I got some really weird weiners, so all isn't lost! Enjoy!

This guy was standing next to me blowing on his horndoggle or whatever that's called for the whole race.

I'm a big fan of frumpy Captain Americas, and he's pretty frumpy.

I'm also a fan of smiley faces shaved out of body hair! An old gay man behind me in the crowd said "Ohhh...that man's got a robin!" I think that mean's "boner."

At Bay to Breakers, people like to piss on the street because they're a bunch of fucking animals and have no class. Even the girls! This is where three college girls pissed right behind me. I wanted to pull out my penis and jack off in their face to teach them a lesson about respecting peoples property, but I didn't. Here's their pee.

Some of the costumes are quite clever, actually!

Two Pee Wees!

I dunno what these are.

Free Nelson Mandella!

Dope ass Warrior's Guy!

While I was watching the show, once in a while a insanely drunk college kid would come up and jibber-jabber with me. This guy was fairly incomprehinsible, but very nice.

Finally, some old naked dudes!

And here's a naked lady! She was tryin'!

Hulk Hogan!

Eric the Red Dick! He said he was "Lookin' for hot girls."

Gross weird arm guy! Not the most amazing costume, but prolly looks pretty fucked up if your frying balls, which many people were that day.

He's so greeeeen!!!

BORK! BORK! BORK!

Hosing da bitches down.

At some point during the event, another Lucha dude came up and started drunk wrassling with the Lucha guy next to me.

I couldn't figure out what that guy had on his eye.

Hey there, Cowboy!

Later that day, a super drunk girl came down a shotgunned a beer through the Lucha dude's horndoggler!

Here's a snapshot of the crowd at any given moment.

A really great Spider Man! Getting a massage by random gay man.

For the first year ever, I randomly walked along with the crowd. Kinda fun. I have to say. Never thought I'd hear myself say that. Or type it.

In the panhandle, I came across the most impressive Sgt. Slaughter I've ever seen! We talked about wrassling for like half an hour!

Pretty good Army Men. Except for the wacky green rain boots.

And here's the best part of Bay to Breakers--idiot college kids who can't drink and pass the fuck out at 11:00 a.m.! Hahahaha! You can see these fools all over the city!

Creepy Mickey Mouse!

Blue Spider Man and Spider Homie!

I didn't take this picture, but this guy has a really neat idea for his penis. I really wanna see what it looks like when Pinocchio is lying!

On the way to Haight St. after the party, these super super drunk college kid was being helped home naked as a Jay bird!

And after it was all over, I walked up Stanyon street on a whim and found Tank Point. Which I've never heard of, but has the best view of the Bay Area I've ever seen! It's nuts!

And that's Bay to Breakers!

And for a much better blog about the event I wrote a few years ago, click here!

And for a drawing of the kind of old man butts you can see at bay to breakers, click here!

This one has waaaaaaaaaaaaay more old man butts! Enjoy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Damn Cornputer Brokes!!!

It sounds like a jet taking off when I turn it on, so I gotta get that fixed so I can post some real shit. For now, there's this.

Disney's Magical Princess Sex!

I was walkng near Chinatown and saw this intriguing window display in a bakery. Magical princesses, Flounder from The Little Mermaid, Lightning McQueen from Cars and an old man fucking a blond reverse cowgirl style. These guys got everything for your cakes!

This is a little more subtle.

COMICS AND COMICS AND COMICS AND STUFF.

These are some comics I've gathered runnin around at WonderCon and another Con and another Con and whatnot.

Remember when Dum Dum Dugan caught a tiny Godzilla? Me neither! But it's a fucking epic cover, and quite a mind boggler.

OF LIZARDS GREAT AND SMALL. Truth be told, I really like the way they draw Godzilla here. He/She really looks believable. Even more than a guy in a rubber suit.

Good god, I want all of these! Spidey Car WITH Boat Trailer? For all those times he went to the Spidey Lake? That Spider-Man Flash Camera looks totally nuts! Did that really ever exist? I don't even understand the SuperShooter. Where is all this stuff now? I hope some of it shows up in the new movie.

Now here is a rare panel of Godzilla sleeping. I dunno about you, but I think he/she looks so cute sleeping! Seriously!

Can a monster smile? Does Godzilla smile now? Perhaps.

If you haven't guessed by now, this comic is pretty fucking silly. I'm not sure if it benefited the Godzilla or Dum Dum Dugan brands.

Now this is a weirdo comic. I blogged a post about the handicapped Superman years ago, but I can't find that post due to my terrible tagging. Randomly, this year I found the next issue! It's a cray-balls Super Man series in the far flung future of the 1990s! Where technology has rendered Supe's powers meaningless!

It's the Secret of Wheel-chair Superman!

Superman's got probs. Like real probs, man. Too poor to live, too proud for welfare! Ironically, he gave billions away to charity!!! Remember, back when this was written, billions were like super billions now!

Dar...I forgot how it ended, but I don't think he ever got welfare. And now, here's a nice Superman calendar from 1971! Probably still works now.

I know right now the economy's not good, so this ad is very timely. Need to make some money? Well, have you considered HAND SHADOWS? Now Have Fun And Make Money With

Avengers and Defenders! I like super groups that rhyme! Also, I think this cover holds the record for the most angry people on one comic book cover at one time. Everybody's MAD.

The first splash page is even angrier!!! Everyone looks so pissed! Sub Mariner looks like he's straight up shitting his speedos! This is how you get readers excited!

There are a lot of amazing monsters here, but I like the torn up blond chick at the bottom, begging for a piece of that monster!

Also, The Watcher is hella fat in this comic! Oh, and he says he will not molest you. Only observe and record. Does that make you feel better?

I dunno what's actually going on here, but I like how it looks like the HULK is flying, Dr. Strange is upside down and Valkirie's metal tits look rad.

I don't pray often, but I really pray the Avenger's movie looks something like this...

More comics coming soon!

Sometimes...Late At Night...

Things get a little weird in the Revenger household.

Street Fighter Boner Pills!

Found these in an American porno store! They're some kind of sex pills. It's great to see Capcom take their Street Fighter characters in a new direction. I applaud them!

Ha-Do-Me-Ken!

(techinally that's Ryu, but I could not think of a clever Ryu joke).

WonderCorn 2012 PT. 2!

Looks like vertical pictures can post again! Had a problem last post. Get ready for a lot of vertical pics! This kid is making the exact same face I make when I busts ghosts.

Really nice Archangel!

This is important.

Good art!

Full Captain EO! Bask in the glory of excellent cosplay!

I wish this guy starred in the Green Lantern movie!

This is the best Green Goblin I've seen to date!

Hipster Link! (as he calls it). This may be Anaheim's version of a hipster, but he'd be laughed out of Hipster College in San Francisco. After all, he's lacking the HILARIOUS ironic mustache. Fuck hipsters. (but not Hipster Link, I really like this guy).

When Captain America raised his fluffy shield...

Speaking of rad kids in cosplay!

I want this hairstyle! But first, I need some hair...

Remember that comic where Dr. Doom had a kid?!

I really should have bought this tie! I want to get interviews, wear the tie to the interview, just to look at the look on the person's face. Why didn't I buy it?! If only there was a way you could buy stuff with computers or something!

This was not for sale.

Here's a super group waiting to happen!

Later that night, in the bar. Captain James T. Kirk was watching copious amounts of porn on his space laptop.

Then an old friend dropped by to see if he needed a "hand."

Afterwards, Pee Wee danced.

And Kirk was exhausted.

This was a really good Sandman! I asked him if kids knew who he was, he said "Not many."

This was a smokin hot evil Super Girl! I've seen a few evil Super Girls, but none as good as this!

Ultra-rare Dr. Who cosplayer! I almost never see Sylvester McCoy Dr. Whos. And that was his favorite Dr! That's almost has unheard of as someone saying they like Peter Davidson!

And that is pretty much WonderCorn!

I'm going to Seattle! Hopefully I'll be able to post up some pics of rainy day mopers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

WonderCorn 2012!

Whelp, it's that magical time of year again—Corn season! And usually the first Corn of the year is WonderCorn! This year it was in Anaheim! Which is like a giant Fremont, but less cool. Note: TypePad has gone full retardo, and I can't post vertical pics without them turning sideways for some reason. Therefore, all pics in this blog will be horizontal. Until they fix this shit.

Female T. Hawk! With bird! Most people probably like her, but I'm all bird on this one! I want to see a female Dhalsim. Bad. And Blanka. And E. Honda. And Rufus. Not Rufus.

Good Bane! Almost as buff as I am! He was later seen holding a sign that said "Free Shrugs," then he was shrugging over and over. Nerd humor.

This is A LOT cooler if you live in the Bay Area. Iron Man 49er! Wolverine Giants fan! A really good Bishop, and CoD man?

This is one of my 3,928,902 Nerd fantasies. It always ends in squirts.

As with most cons, I buy a wacky figure and take pictures of it. This con was Pee Wee Herman. He is the biggest comedic influence on my life. And my sex life. 

Pee Wee had an accident at the porno theater. Again. 

Then he really got in trouble :(

Steampunk Banana! Not the biggest fan of steampunk, but the biggest fan of bananas. Good work, here.

Pee Wee and Pee Wee. I used to own them both in high school. My nickname was "Pee Wee" because I loved him so much, not because of my dick. 

Later that night, two hot chicks were in my bed. 

Meanwhile, in Pee Wee's PlaywithhimselfHouse

Afterwards...

Chillin' on my glasses.

Captain Fucking EO!!!!!!!! (there's a vertical pic of his whole outfit, but I can"t post it now, due to technical difficulties). Anyways, Captain Fucking EO!!!!!

The one thing Anaheim is good for is Disneyland! And when this bus drove by I started taking pictures fast! He actually pulled over in front of me, and I thought he was doing it so I could take photos, but he was snorting crank. Still, I LOVE THIS MOVIE. Look at this dildo, isn't it neat? Wouldn't you say it's about 3 feet? Wouldn't you say I'm the girl who have every ding-dong? You want butt plugs, I've got plenty. I've got anal beads galore...you want ball gags? I've got twenty! But who cares...I wanna be a whore....!!!

Seen a lot of Jokers, haven't seen too many with a rubber chicken. 

And another good Joker!

This lady calls herself "The Button Lady," and I can see why. RAMBLING ROD.

This was an EPIC Green Goblin! I wish I could show you his full outfit. But TypePad is retardo! :*(

I don't know what the fuck this guy was, but I think he was part of the gay comic group. The cameraman's look is priceless. 

Scary black Green Lantern! Cool, but scary. Those eyes! Actually, reminds me a bit of Omega Man. 

Staypuff Mom, Ghostbuster Kid!

There was an amazing classic Star Trek chick, I can show you because it's vertical, but she had astonishing hair. I put Pee Wee on her tribble, then said in my best Pee Wee voice, "Mmm...Tribbly!"

Little girl in an R2 Unit. 

As usual with each con, there's one shot that captures the essence of the con perfectly. This is the shot.

Meanwhile, back at our hotel, someone got shitfaced and tried to paint road signs. 

I don't know if you've ever tried to forage for food in Anahiem, but it ain't easy. Restaurant's are either totally incompetent, or closed at weird hours. So we walked like an hour to find "Tiffy's." Which was amazing for Anaheim. And Pee Wee got a new hairdoo!

Speaking of Tiffy's, this is a classy way to show how much your beer costs. 

As much as I and everyone else with a brain fucking hates Jar Jar Binks, this picture made me feel good. Yousa giva deese message to da mastah? Heesa oura onlee hoopah? Swaneee River.

Awsome Speller. 

I've come across a lot of cosplay couples in my 15 years of con-going, but these two had it down. 

I can't help but think this Freddy Spitball toy looked like a human testicle. I should have bought it. 

These aren't real. 

Everybloody loves Pee Wee.

There's a lot more too this, but I can't show you right now. 

Afterwards, Captain Kirk is...exhausted...from...all that sex...and space.................porn!

Mr. and Mrs. Deadpool. For those of you who like this sort of thing. 

AAAAAGHHHHH!!!!!! Zombie-ee!

I won't lie, when I see an epic cosplayer, I'll ask them to do the shit their character is famous for. This is a spot on Thelma looking for her glasses, upon my request. 

Viking pillaging an ice cream cone. 

FUCKING EPIC OLD SCHOOL KLINGON! 

I tried to ask him about the different kinds of Klingons (bone heads versus non-bone heads), and this mofo would not break character! Kapla! He also had epic Klingon space pants. I want these.

Super hero/villain kids always crack me up! 

Superhero families temporarily restore my faith in humanity. Look at these guys!

And that is WonderCon 2012 in a nutty shell. Would have even been cooler if I could have posted vertical pics, but what eves. The next blarg will be really long! 

Love ya! 

 

SHIT ON MY PHONE!

I'm homeless right now! The folks under the overpass I live in call me Hobo Joe, or Cardboard Larry. I haven't been able to blarg properly, so here's some random shit from my phone!

Watched a movie called Rock n' Roll Nightmare. Had a really cute guy in it!

And another cute guy.

I went to Hollywood and won an Oscar!

Went to an antique store and found a cute toy! Perfect for kids!

Played a new game!

Rented a neat porno!

And found a cool Pinata you can hit on! If you break it used condoms pour out!

In San Francisco, you have to watch out for Pie Pressure. It'll make you a fatty, real fast.

Watched a cool movie called...

In the 80's, dogs were considered less valuable then humans in movies, so they often got it first!

The movie had a surprising ending that I've now ruined.

Went to the beach with my buddy, and saw some cool graffiti!

Also found a Star Gate!

Found a cool drawing someone did on the beach. I added to it.

Also saw a rad space caterpillar!

People out there like to keep their paper towels nice and cold.

I was watching Voltron and noticed he had a cool new weapon.

Did you know Mexicans have the worst candy in the world? Dirt on spoons!

Are you normal? Or nuts? I've always wondered that! Thank you, Reader's Digest!

My old roommate gave this to me! A banana was left out on the table, and over time it mummified!

That's all, and remember kids -- CRACKS WHACK

 

 

 

SKY MALL! Free Copy--Draw Dicks On It!

I love me some Sky Mall. And with a couple of sharpies and few good friends, you can have a pretty fun night with one.This first one is by Amanda. She's an amazing artist and crafty person. Here's her tasteful DIY crafy art blog Enchanted Revolution!

She started this whole thing off!

Super cute!

Take a closer look at this one of a kind artwork.

We watched an episode of Cops earlier and there was a glue-sniffin' hick who lived in a shed. He killed himself shortly after the episode was filmed. I wondered if this might look like his "to-do" list that day.

Number one is Penile Awakening Technology.

Litter Robot Bubble Unit

Genuine Turkish Bathrobe - - Perfect for Snakemen!

I wish I had a Strollercycle when I was kid!

I mainly draw dicks on stuff, but Amanda has a real knack for seeing the true shape in things.

SkyMall Customer Favorite.

R2-DICK2

We collaborated on this piece.

This looks relaxing.

Perfect shirt for happy Snakemen!

Even in times of danger, you can make new friends.

Now in white and black, too!

Kind of a similar theme in both.

I have the Gold-tone.

Another team effort. I thin even Amanda's mom got in on some of this. The drawing I mean.

Bigfoot, The Bashful Yeti.

An Alligaytor.

Protect yourself against sexually aggresive dogs with Dog-Off.

...

Sniff glue! Kill self!

Pretty proud of this one. Ball-Dalek!

This is the perfect gift.

Another collaborative effort.

More teamwork.

Sometimes two minds can work as one.

This page is more subtle.

Some of these draw themselves!

The bag in the upper right kills me everytime.

Pure Amanda.

Sniff glue! Kill self!

These are not modified.

The Bashful Yeti's pullin' it from both ends!

Stinky the slinky!

Amanda again. She's on a higher level as an artist than me.

Reminds me of my youth!

We can only find one Mad watch!

It was getting late in the night...

And the last one! Amanda's Mom confirmed what I've always suspected--Africa's a dick.