BROWNTHATBANANA

Happy Fucking Kringles! Homeade X-MAS cards!

Hey losers! It's Kringle time! My favorite time of yeaz! Me and my homeboyz R and J and her parents, Steve and Carrie drew some kick-ass Kristmass Kards for your viewing pleasure!

But first, my theory about artists. The worst thing to happen to an artist is to learn how to draw. When you learn how to draw you get all kinds of high-fall-u-tin idears about what a cool picture looks like. But if you don't know how to draw, your art comes from the heart. That is the purest form of art. And I'll prove my theory right by the christmas cards I'm about to post. ENJOY!

The theme was "Your favorite homeless santa!" From R-MAN - a good artist.

From me. I've won the best artist award 8 years running in California. Still, a bit obvious.

J-san! A good artist!

 

From my squrriel friend! Homeress Santa!

 From Carrie-san. An artistic genius.

Steve-san, the best drawer there!

Here's a snow man peeing for no reason at all!! Murgy Krugle!

 

Here's a zombie eating Charlie Brown's Brains!

The next theme was a "Drunk Elf" Mine's pretty obvious.

My friend's Jewel's is pretty good too.

Ronnies is not bad...

But Steve's is the fucking BOMB!Pure genius. He's got the spins! You could paint this on a 6 foot canvis and sell it anywhere in San Franciso.

And here's some more awesome shit!

M-Chan's super cute card!

Next theme - Bad Candy Canes. R-San! Candy Kane's stealing Cookies!

My Candy Cane, super obvious!

But who in the ding-dong would ever thing of drawing a "bad candy-cane" as a fucking shark! Genius!

Steve's Charlie Brown Christmas Special Drawing. I have nothing but love for this drawing.

And now here's Santy Fucking a Box!

 
  Byron Christmas picture! He's a cutie! This is my Dog-son.

Steve's christmas card dedicated to all the troops everywhere!

Next theme - Gingerbread men being bad!

Julie's idear of a G-Man being bad!

My Idear!

This one's from me! A 2-Parter!

I could make so much money off this.

Ha-Ha! Wuts left! I'm super fucking drunk! I love you, and Happy fucking christmassy!

NERDOMANIA!

I found this book called Fandomania on the free table at work! It's by some super pretentious chick who tries to psychoanalize the "phenomenon" of cosplay. Here's an excerpt...

"Make-believe, that most transient and transpersonal of intoxications, culturally relegated to you yet embedded in us all as a private infantilism, is the fantasy domain where we try out alternative identities, scenerios...snore...snore..."

Anyway she's clearly an over-educated fucktard who spends too much time humping dictionares. And so... here my official book review of...Nerdomania!

The whole books got these super creepy D level cosplayers posing with very serious looks on their faces against a plain black background. Anyway, I love this girl! So nerdy! So sultry! So shortbus!

Marylin Monroe? He's a looker!

Voted most likely to get gangbanged at a Renasaisse Faire!

From the hit anime -- Princess Ham!

Sailor Moons Over My Hammie! 

Normal the Vaginial Valleys that surround both sides of the Heavenly Hole are quite delicious. But alas her strange nerd genetics have ruined them for all of us! This is one ruff muff to love!

Let her ass cell-u-light up your life!

To quote my friend at work who saw this book - "These are the people your feel sorry for at conventions." Scroll down to get a peep!

 

By the tri-force! Holy pokmarks! Link looks like he tripped and fell face first in the lava temple!

 

Everytime I see this picture I burp. 

And by a lardslide, the WINNER! Chub-the Red Comet from Gundam!

To make matters worse, the book's made out of some weird creepy foam shit that feels really gross to touch. But not as gross as it is to read. To the author of this book, I'll leave you with this - Sometimes a pen is just a pen and a nerd just wants to dress up like the shit they love.

 And that's my book review!

Turkle Burkles!!!!! Happy Spanksgivings!

Flappy Tanksgiving! My original plan to was google "man fucking a turkey" and post just that. But alas, I could not actually find a man fucking a turkey! Here's what I found...

I found a man fucking a car...

I found a man fucking a chicken! (close!)

And I found two rednecks fucking each other...

And someone I'd actually like to fuck...

And someone else I'd like to fuck...

And finally something I don't want to fuck, but thought was funny! Great costume!

And not at all related to thanksgiving, but a cool white power unicorn tattoo I found!

And that's that!

Oddly enough when you type in any combination of "turkey" and "fucking" you get a lot of Turkish porn. Which could be the worst porn on earth. It's like American porn in 1973, but hairier. Lates!

R.I.P. Rannie Yoo...

Rannie Yoo was a friend of mine that I found out recently passed away. She emailed me awhile back to tell me she had cancer, but the Doctor said her outlook was good. I was a little worried, but she sounded fine and upbeat. Unfortunately, I never followed up on her, assuming she was ok. That's something I'll regret for a long time. 

In any case, she was one of the sweetest people I've ever met and very genuine, which is rare in her business--PR. 

Rannie Yoo 1/20/1976 - 10/25/2009

She was a dynamite PR lady! She always treated me well despite the insignificant size of the magazine I worked at. When I asked some PR people for a game they'd be like, "Uhhhh... who are you again? What's your circulation? Yeah... click." But she never looked down on us and always came through--even hand delivering games herself sometimes! 

Her husband who married her a week before she died, made this beautiful memorial for her. It shows how brave she was and the humor and spirit in which she fought this disease with. 

You can find it here - RannieRied

And now here's a beautiful picture of some flowers in a bowl my grrfriend took. She thinks it should be cropped, but I like it the way it is--imperfections and all.

Goodbye Rannie! I love Yoo! 

On a personal note, I was on the fence about going to Japan this winter, due to financial reasons, but this has convinced me! I'm going! Ya gotta live life!

[This blog will now return to the super drunk offensive immature terrible monster that it is. Thank you.]

POST HALLOWEEN! MICHAEL FUCKING JACKSON! (and other things)

For those of u whu don't no, I have's me a girlffriend and she looks like this.

Some foo we done met on the bus!

Meggers, preggers!

 

My Girl-Cum-Bur-leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Hawt. Zambie. Bitcheees.

Beeeee-fucking-YAAAAAAAAAARRRRREGGGGGG!

Q-TEES-PA-2-TEES.!

After molesting 100 kids I need a little refreshment.

This is HALLOWEEN GENIUS.

But this is the future of humanoids. U and all the Humanoids you know.

And now here's some real shit.

 

Some real retared shit.

Yeah! This is the real rucking shit! Boney-maroney! Skelafuckor!

The best part, is the hot fucking bitches behind me. Straight boggled.

 
  Soon after Halloween, I went and saw the MJ movie! (HELLZ YEAH!)

Glowiez. Glow. The Glow. The Blow. The glove. The glove. I'm actually a bit drunks.

I FUCKING <3 MK! What do you love for a living?

MJ needs a fucking drink. I love the childen. Seriously.

Put on the glove. Put on the glove. Put on the glove. Does anybody matter?

ANAL DESTRUCTION.

MIKOL FAKKIN JACK SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON. DA GLOVE.

MJ Movie was gooooood. Me happy. My dreams did come true. Love all around.

Crabby after Halloweenies. The end of the holiday. My house is kreeepy. Did you know?

And that's the fucking end of Halloweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen. In the fucking USA.

BTW if you havent figured it out yet......nothing means nothing.            Thank you.

Halloween Stoopid Store! (Sponsered by creepy peeper and little dead dog)

Welcome to the yearly Halloween Stoopid Store blog! I started doing this a few years back and it's become a tradition. The premise is simple - get shit faced, run in the store and tear it up!

This year was a little more mellow, but still fun! Here we go! 

Found little cutie at Thai restaurant by the store... Drunkenstien!

Before we hit the store we played with my buddy's Osamba's toy - Scroaty!

If you blow on sctoaty's mouth penis hose, he get all swollen up!

And you can plug up his mouth penis hose and turn in into a little fuck mouth! 

And if you use your imagination, his back looks like a granny va-janny!

Sorry, I have a little scroaty obsession... BTW he comes from Wallgreens!

Anyway, enough of that, this is supposed to be a Halloween Stoopid Store Blarg so here we go! Yesshhh! Finally made it into the store! 

This is how I feel when I go into a Halloween store!

While we're looking at nasty babies (one of my favorite things), here's a stoned reggae monster baby!

 

Then we found an army helmet! This is standard pimp issue.

I'm part Native American, too!

 

I have no idea what this costumes supposed to be. Dead naked shy guy? Too high concept for me!

I love Asian fashions!

 
Don't forget your hat, jewelry, make-up, glasses, and weapon!

Zombie Chewbacca!

Yes, you little bitch. Put your slutty little ass in the air!

A Mexican Super Douche costume!

And for those special parents who want their kids to get the shit kicked out of them by other kids or have drunk adults pee on them is this amazing costume!

Hello future sexual psychopath!

 

Or you could send them in out in the molestors favorite, Naked Body Suit!

If I had a child, I would make them wear this every day of the week. Not kidding.

This is a great sign! Simple and to the point!

 

This stuff costs an arm and a leg!

This is some good old fashioned costume mash up! Comically over-sized trucker's combined with super scary monster face - comedy gold!

A Smudge Wolf! Yes from the famous movie, "The Smudge Wolf" super scary!

 

Then I found this mask... and I fell in love.  You know when you find that costume and you're like, "Yeah... this, this is me. This is really me."

 

We were sure tired after all that Halloween shopping. So it was off to a resturant to get some grub... Hrmm... what should I order... what should I order...?

 

Sometimes you need a little help from your friends to decide stuff.

Then a crazy thing happened! I met another girl watcher! What are the chances?

He got too excited watching girls! Happens to me too...

It was time to go and time to settle up the bill...

Yesshhhhh! Take my money... hrmph hrmmph hrmmph!

And the next day, before heading off to a Halloween party, we stopped by my favorite bar John Murious Trophy Room! Immeditatly after walking in the bartender handed me this magazine and said, read it.

Turns out it was a porno magazine featuring 50+ models! Does that bartender know me or what?

This was an amazing ad calling out for 50+ models. But you still have to send in your I.D. so they can make sure you're over 18 years old! LOL!

Have you called Grandma today? Great tagline! I wish I could write like that!

 

And then we were off to a party! I wore my award winning creepy peeper costume and totally freaked the fuck out every chick at the party! I didn't think it was that bad! Sheesh!

And now it's time for the sad part of the blog. There was a cute little dog at the party in a bucket. It looked like this...

But then at the end of the party, it died! Another dog like bit it's head off and it looked like this! It was super sad! I really liked that little guy! If you have a little dog... you have to watch it! Seriously.

Anyways, here's a recent pic from the super store two days before Halloween. The place was totally destroyed! It looks like a mangled costume abortion!

And now, I'll leave you with this picture of a costumed baby who, like most of us, is wondering what the fuck is going on.

Yep, this year was a little less crazy than previous years, but still fun none-the-less. If you have spare time and any brain cells left, here are the last two years! Enjoy!

Here's 2008!

And Here's 2007!

It's The Great Pumpkin Fucker, Charlie Brown!

Happy almost Halloweenies! To pre-celebrate this great holiday here are some pictures of a haunted gas station, me trying to carve a pumpkin-lanterz, and Linus fucking a pumpkin. 

Whilst on the way up north we stopped in a non-descript white trash town for gas and found a kick ass haunted gas station! I looked like a halloween superstore mini-mart!

Head in a bowl! Wearing safety glasses! No doubt to protect his eyes from getting poked out by greedy little kids!

I don't know what's worse, being a cut off head, or working in a gas station mini-mart!

Hand in the energy drink barrel!Genius!

Foot coming out of the beer cooler! Not quite as genius. And that foot was really dirty. Kinda gross.

It's time to get stabby!

We found a little helper!

 
Taking a break!

He got drunky!

Pumpkin Hot Tub!

 
Posing skeletons in wacky positions is all part of the pumpkin carving tradition!

And here are the results!

Success!

Naturally the next logical thing to do is put a penis in its mouth.

And as promised, here's Linus fucking a pumpkin! You're welcome!

Holy ships! Typepud changed up their game! I hope I'm blogging!

Actually, I ain't got shit here so here's some leftovers from my travelz and some other stuff that is in my apartment! I know... exciting!

This here's somethin I got in Mexico! It's based on an anime... try and figure out what it is!

And this is some little kids playing GTA IV on a stand up arcade cabinet in Mexico! LOL! I can't speak mexicans, but... eye kurumbaz! Piracy is not rampant in Mexico... it's fucking awesome! 

This is a cool cellphone store in Mexicoz!

 
And now we're done with the odds and ends... here's some stuff in my house!

Actually I don't live in the bathroom... this was my friend's Samuel L. Wackyson's set up - my Cobra Kai action figure from Karate Kid II on the toilet... sheer imagination!

And here's some more sexy bathroom action! Cobra Kai with the Silver Samurai... and some cat weird thing watching them. Does this turn you on?

And because you didn't ask for it... my new Frankenstien balloon in my hallway next to the bongos. I just bought this monster last Friday night! Totally worth it!

And here are the league of extrodinatrily weird things found on my coffee table! I'll make love to you if you can guess them all!

It's stumpy! And weirdie!

Here's some pots and pans in the kitchen... see if you can spot anything unusual...

 

You got it! This was some gross guy I bought during Halloween last year! He was just perfect for plugging up that totally awkward hole in the kitch.

Anyway, next time I'll have some super signifigant shit!Or it'll be another experiment in retardation. Hrrmm... I actually can not determine which would be better!

SUPER PENIS TIME!

I went to the Folsom Street Fair - a gay and straight leather street fair. It's pretty lame, but with enough beer anything can be fun--even math!

Here are the sights I witnessed! (If you hate penises, turn back! Turn back!)

Some dude was selling wooden penis statues right outside the fair. Oh, he also sold wooden buddhas, not that they're related. He informed us several times this was his "Going out of the business" sale. Oh, so you're getting out of the wooden penis business... yeah, it's a hard market. A hard market.

Some dude built a cool mad max car. This would be considered a smooth ride in the wasteland!



Then we bumped into Conan the BALL-barian! Actually, his costume was pretty cool!

Just two normal guys eating Thai food in the front window of a restaurant. It's almost as if they were doing it on purpose! Wacky!

It's almost as big as mine!

And we an S&M Gay-sha! Tee-hee!

Normally this wouldn't be that interesting, but he did take the time to make a super disgusting dog penis thingie. Complete with that weird doggie boner knot they get.

Here's a close up! (you're welcome!)

Holy pork kabob, this shirt is fucking awesome! How have I never seen this before?!

Some pictures don't need captions!

Sexy.

This is a great look! Although Scream was like 10 years ago, that mask is immortal! (for penis fans, sorry for the censorship! This is a family oriented blog!)

This would normally be funny, but at a fair full of buff hairy guys and penises it was hilarious!

Mmmmm... chest hair! Click to enlarge, it'd make a great wallpaper!

Sexy Micky Mouse nipple shirt!

This is a cool artsie photo I took.

Look he brought his mom to the fair! Or his landlady...  hrmm... mystery picture!

For some reason I had sausages on the brain and ate this monster!

And I'll leave you with this super sexy S&M anime costume - Dragon Ball Zegro! If that buldge isn't stuffed, that is a super saiyan penis! Wowser!

See ya next year!

DAS KOMPUTRONZ PROBLEMZ!

I've been attempting to install a new hardrive in mein komputron, which is not nearly as easy as I thought it would be! Anywhoots, it should be done tomorrow and I'll put up my super penisy folsom street fair penis blog penis.

Here's a "taste!"